Pregnant

  • Second Trimester Update

    As I edge towards the end of my pregnancy I thought it might be about to time to get my second trimester update posted, before I miss it entirely, especially as I should really start making some notes so a third trimester update actually happens at some point – I may even try and do an update in the final week of my pregnancy just so it gets done before the fourth trimester and newborn bubble begins.

    The glorious trimester

    In my first pregnancy my second trimester glow was short lived, by being bogged down with SPD, heart palpitations and generally not feeling great. I am happy to report that my second trimester this time has been absolutely glorious, the trimester I never got the first time round for sure. I have in general felt good, my heart palpitations were minimal (I’ve had that treat in the third trimester this time), I wasn’t tired, I felt almost my normal pre-pregnancy self and at times ‘forgot’ I was pregnant. It was definitely the easiest and most enjoyable trimester.

    The big scan

    Of course the second trimester bought with it the big anomaly scan and I was nervous. After the on/off gastroschisis diagnosis of the first trimester I have to say it was still hanging over my head a little bit. I was nervous that it was going to show up again just as I had got my mind around everything that happened around 12-14 weeks. We did however get the all clear and it was such a relief to get through that.

    The midwife & consultant appointments started

    After the pre-eclampsia diagnosis in my previous pregnancy my midwife appointments were set to start at 24 weeks and continue every two weeks until the end of my pregnancy, along with some consultant appointments thrown in too.

    The second trimester was wonderful this time round and it was a joy, as well as often forgetting I was pregnant, that is life with a toddler for sure. After the busy time at the end of the first trimester it was definitely nice to be able to enjoy the second trimester a little more. If you want to continue to follow my second pregnancy in real time, head over to Instagram!

    Now, onto the third trimester…

  • Pregnant in a Pandemic

    Being pregnant in a pandemic is weird, it is odd, it is slightly terrifying and it brings on a lot more anxiety than I expected. Yet I feel a little weird talking about because I made this choice completely knowing what I was embarking on.

    I am not like the women who were pregnant and suddenly found them slap bang in the middle of a pandemic, but I am amongst a growing number of women who have decided to try for a baby in this volatile situation.

    Hard to mention

    It is because I decided this that I have found it hard to bring up and talk about, because I knew the situation we were in (although to be fair in August things looked a lot brighter than they turned out to be) and I went ahead anyway. I knew what I was getting myself into.

    Not wanting to wait

    Truth be told was that once we decided we wanted to try for another baby we didn’t really want to wait, pandemic or not. In fact it was the pandemic and just a lot of ongoing things that happened in early 2020 that made me feel like our family wasn’t complete in the first place.

    I am in my mid-30’s and conscious of some of the associated health risks that can bring and ultimately, once we decided to grow our family, after being one and done for the longest time, we decided that the smaller age gap the better between our children. Also, most of all it felt like the right time. We didn’t know how long this situation would last and we didn’t want to delay growing our family indefinitely. It also took us a couple of years to naturally fall pregnant with our daughter and we didn’t know how long we’d have to wait, evidently not long at all as we got pregnant immediatey. We made our decision knowing everything that could potentially be ahead, in pandemic terms at least.

    Strange time to be pregnant

    All that aside, it is still a weird time to be pregnant. The early part of my pregnancy took place before maternity restrictions were lifted. I went to my booking appointment and my 12 week scan alone. At my 12 week scan I found out our baby potentially had gastroschisis (which we were so pleased to find out wasn’t the case). My husband was allowed to a couple of fetal medicine scans because of the issues, but soon back out waiting in the car once we got the all-clear. He was able to come in for our 20 week scan and that’s him done now until labour, despite me having many, many appointments with midwives and consultants because of pre-eclampsia in my first pregnancy.

    I haven’t minded doing it alone however, I knew that was the situation when I fell pregnant and maybe it is because I am a second time mum because I dare say I might have felt different if it was my first.

    A pregnancy in isolation

    The weirdest part is being pregnant in isolation. Nobody apart from my husband and daughter have actually seen me pregnant and for the most part by the time we are allowed to see people again I will have had our son. I will have done an entire pregnancy and nobody will really have seen it.

    It’s definitely a weird one. Some days are weirder than others. I have no regrets deciding to have a baby in the middle of a pandemic. My care has been completely exceptional despite everything the health service is dealing with and we’ll have a great story to tell our baby boy one day. I’m certain this is an experience I won’t forget in a hurry.

  • Embracing my postpartum body!

    Itโ€™s been 6.5 months since our little Hadley joined us and I know everyone says it, but I honestly cannot fathom where the time has gone. In the last month sheโ€™s changed so much too, sheโ€™s eating solids, sheโ€™s saying mama, sheโ€™s waving and so much more! Itโ€™s so incredible to watch out little baby grow in front of our eyes.

    Where I am 6 months on…

    Today I want to talk about where I am 6 months on from giving birth, and while I am very aware I never sat down here to do my birth story, you can catch it in brief on my IGTV. I touched on my feelings about my body post-baby on my Instagram this week and I was overwhelmed by the number of women that reached out to me with their stories of how they feel about their bodies since becoming a mum.

    When I was pregnant with Hadley I was honestly so nervous about getting stretch marks; I would ask my own mum constantly whether she got stretch marks throughout her pregnancy with me (hoping to sidestep them simply through genetics), I would keep my bump moisturised constantly with a super hydrating moisturiser and I would on occasion have a look at the parts of me that I could still see and see if any had popped up. I never found anything, except maybe a few at the top of my legs in very late pregnancy, but honestly, by that point, Iโ€™d even lost the will to care.

    After fussing about stretch marks for the longest time and never getting any of note, they all appeared after as my body shrunk back down (or what I affectionally call โ€œthe deflateโ€). At first they were red and purple although now they have already faded massively and are barely visible, except to me of course ๐Ÿ˜‰ (I am still human after all). As well as the stretch marks on my stomach, the thigh ones remained and I also gained a fair few on my boobs too, although that might very well be from breastfeeding.

    How do I feel about my body now?

    I have always felt fairly lucky because I have never really had any hang-ups about my body, I have always been confident in how I look and equally grateful that I have this mindset because I know so many donโ€™t. Like I said, before Hadley was born I was nervous about what my body would look like post-pregnancy; Would I still love it? How would I feel about the changes it had gone through that were still visible? Would I still feel confident in my own skin? Would I still be able to maintain that strong mindset when everything looked and felt different? Would I still be able to look at myself in the mirror in the same way I had done before?

    postpartum body

    I do see a different body staring back, but itโ€™s a body that is strong and a body that, no matter what, I should be proud of. This body has stretch marks where they never used to be, I still see my Linea Negra and maybe I always will, I have looser skin and my body shape has changed. But I donโ€™t hate what I see.

    When I look in the mirror now I definitely see a different body staring back, not bad different, just different. I see a body that carried a nourished a baby for 40 weeks and 2 days. I see a body that endured spd, heart palpitations and pre-eclampsia to bring my baby into the world. I see a body that endured induced labour, an epidural, a forceps delivery and an episiotomy. I see a body that took so many weeks to recover from the physical aspects of birth. I see a body that helped nourish my baby on the inside for over 40 weeks and on the outside for 6 weeks. I canโ€™t hate that. 

    Postpartum bodies all look different; different to the way they used to and different to each other but they are all unique in their own special way. Loving yourself in a world that doesnโ€™t want you to is not easy, but please be kind to yourself mamaโ€™s, your body has performed miracles.