Motherhood

  • Motherhood

    Welcoming Children Back to School in a Warm and Comforting Way

    The idea of school looks different to everyone. Some children enter the double school gates every morning and take the bus, whereas others start their day of learning from the comfort of their own home. Although there are stark differences between the traditional education system and homeschooling, both of these learning environments have one thing in common. You’ll always take a break and you’ll always need to get back into it somehow and someway. Getting back into the swing of school can be tough for a child who’s just enjoyed a long summer break with their friends and family. The idea of knuckling down and learning can feel overwhelming to say the least, but there are so many ways in which you can make the process smooth, steady and welcoming. Whether you’re guiding your child through home education, or you’re a teacher of a small class hoping to welcome them back after summer break, there are numerous methods that will help you to make the process easier on everybody.

    Welcoming children back to school in a warm and comforting way is the least you can do when they’re about to dedicate a lot of time to studying and learning. Making each day fun and ensuring that the first week is as seamless as possible can be done, as long as you do a little bit of preparation in advance. Some of the following ideas will give you some guidance and inspiration when it comes to bringing your students or children back into an educational setting after a short or long break.

    Ice Breaker Games

    One of the best ways to kickstart a brand new day of school is with some unique ice breaker games. Now, these aren’t the cliche ones you often see in the movies; they’re exciting, fun and will lead to a lot of learning along the way too. Check out these forensic science icebreakers first day school, and you will soon see how effective they can be when welcoming a class back to school again. The light hearted nature of the games ensures that nobody feels any pressure, and it also encourages the children to get talking to each other too.

    Create Lesson Plans

    Lesson plans are so important when it comes to getting back into the swing of school routines. Making each lesson clear and concise will help the children to settle back in with ease and give them the best possible start to the school year. Although you may have to be flexible and adaptable to their needs, you can enhance their learning environment when you feel organized and well-prepared when you walk into the classroom each day.

    Speak With Them and Their Parents

    Taking some time out to speak with each child and their parents if you’re a traditional teacher in a school or education system, will help you to settle them back into school life with ease. A simple conversation before the day begins will give you an idea of what each child needs from you at any given time. It can also provide you with some much-needed background knowledge on their emotional or intellectual needs along the way too. All in all, as long as you’re willing to spend a little bit of time with each child or parent, you will feel well-equipped to deal with anything that might come your way as school starts back up again.

    Get the Classroom Set Up

    Having an organized, well-designed and beautiful classroom is something that every teacher or home educator longs to have. Spending some time just before school starts getting everything in order will set you off on the best possible foot, and it will help your students to feel incredibly welcome from the moment they walk through the door. Although time and resources are often limited with regards to classroom supplies, there’s so much you can do to ensure you feel ready to welcome your students into their learning environment. This could mean displaying some beautiful artwork from a previous year, or setting up a topical display that may spark some conversations as they start delving in on day one. Preparation is key, and having a welcoming classroom is the key to gaining their attention and keeping them on the right track as they settle back into daily school life. 

    Set Clear Goals 

    At the very start of the year or semester, you need to set clear goals that are understandable to your age group. This could mean telling them advance what they’re going to be learning about and how they’re going to achieve each objective as you learn together. By setting clear goals from the outset, your class or children will have a set of expectations that will guide them seamlessly through their educational life. These goals will act as pillars of support when they need a little extra guidance or help with a certain topic. These goals aren’t intended to scare the children, or make them worry about what’s expected of them, but it’s to help them push through any reservations they have so that they can be the very best version of themselves whilst they’re learning.

    Make the Rules and Boundaries Known

    As well as setting goals for your students, you also need to make sure that rules and boundaries are clear at all times. In order to make the learning space as safe and welcoming as possible, everyone needs to have respect for the rules that are in place.

    Avoid Intense Learning Environments Right Away

    Diving straight back into complicated learning material on day one simply isn’t the way school should be. Children need time to get to know their surroundings and re-adapt to their environment before they’re expected to retain any type of information. When you opt to avoid intense learning environments during the welcome phase you are giving your children the freedom to settle in at their own speed. It means that everyone sitting in that room is on a level playing field, and everyone will have their opportunity to grow and develop as the weeks go by.

    Adapt To The Needs of the Class

    As a teacher, you will already be aware that there are so many different types of children in your class, and all of them will respond to certain activities in unique ways. Some children may thrive with ice breaker games, and others may feel slightly shy. Adapting to the needs of your class will make everyone feel as comfortable as possible when they’re returning to school. Although you may not be able to completely change your lesson plans and activities, you can make developments and adaptations accordingly. 

    Prepare School Routines Ahead of Time

    This is a particularly important one to consider if you’re a homeschooling parent or a parent who is due to send their child back into a learning environment. Around a week before they’re due to start school, you need to get them prepared with their routines ahead of time. This means getting back on track with their sleep schedules and wake up times. You will find the process so much easier as soon as your little one’s back into a healthy school routine before their first day back.

    Listen and Be Patient

    Patience is the ultimate trait you have to have as a teacher or mom who teaches their children at home. They will test your limits on a day to day basis and you will have to have an abundance of solutions at your fingertips. It’s true that educators have to be active listeners because there is so much to take in around you. Listening to the children will also help you to adapt your methods accordingly and ensure you’re doing the right thing for each individual. By putting these skills of yours to use, you can be sure that you’re doing everything in your power to make your class feel welcome in every sense.

    As you can see, there are so many different options for you to explore when it comes to making your children and students feel as comfortable as possible when they start their day of learning each day. Every child is unique, and will have their very own ways of warming up to school life again, so it’s important to be flexible and patient with your methods. The ideas mentioned above will help you to discover a variety of options for you to explore for your students. As a teacher, you will be exposed to many different scenarios in your lifetime, but some of the best moments are when you see that your hard work and dedication is coming to fruition in your pupils. 

    Most of all, enjoy the process of organizing your back to school ideas, and take comfort in knowing that all of your time and dedication will be much appreciated by the little minds on the receiving end of it all. From engaging games to open conversations, there’s so much for you to delve into to ensure that your children have warm and welcoming return back to school.

  • Motherhood

    Breastfeeding grief and trauma

    This weeks episode is a really personal one for me. This week’s episode I am delving deep and opening up to breastfeeding grief and trauma. Here is your trigger warning, if you aren’t in a space where you feel you are able to consume this please protect your space.

    Listen on spotify

    Show notes

    When I was pregnant with my first child, my daughter, I thought I was prepared. In fact, I would go as far as saying I had prepped myself as much as I felt I could. My daughter has just turned 3, but breastfeeding trauma doesn’t just go away, for many it plagues them for years, if not their entire lives, long after their children have stopped needing to be fed via milk. It’s a really important topic that affects so many women and I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn’t share that here.

    When I was pregnant with my daughter I made it my business to make sure I was prepared as I could be for her arrival. We took an extensive NCT class and part of that included a breastfeeding workshop. At the time I felt the workshop was really in-depth and I learned a lot about breastfeeding. I really wanted to try breastfeeding but at the same time, I felt very open to the idea that I would formula feed if necessary. My intention was that we would start breastfeeding and just see how it went.

    My pregnancy had been easy, that was until 39+6, when I developed pre-eclampsia. It happened very quickly before my blood pressure reached dangerous levels. I immediately went to the hospital where it was quickly decided that I would be induced. I wasn’t that keen on having an induced birth but I knew with pre-eclampsia I was in slightly more dangerous territory than a straightforward pregnancy and I was happy to take advice from the professionals. My induction seemed very straightforward and my birth was less so, as I believe is often the case with induced births. Induced labour is often considered more painful because there is a lack of oxytocin and contractions go from 0-100, with no natural build up. This led to me very quickly feeling out of control, despite my hypnobirthing practice, which led to an epidural, which led to me losing the feeling in my legs, which led to me birthing on my back. This was all less than ideal. I ended up with a long, arduous 18 hour labour, which ended in an assisted forceps delivery, an episiotomy and a postpartum hemorrhage.

    I initiated breastfeeding straight after birth and at first, it felt like I was doing really well. I felt like it was ok and I was doing it. When I got home things quickly went south, I was sore and I now know it was because of an undiagnosed tongue tie and poor latch. The support at home didn’t really help me and because she had jaundice, was losing weight very quickly, I felt very pushed down the formula route. I tried to continue breastfeeding, I pumped, I tried to get my supply up but formula had sabotaged my hope of breastfeeding. Little by little, bit by bit my breast feeding experience was eroded away by formula. Nobody wanted to protect my right to breastfeed, instead they too watched on as it slowly seeped away from me.

    So formula took over.

    It wasn’t until months later did I truly feel the heartache of it all. By 6 weeks old my daughter was fully formula fed. I was absolutely gutted and I didn’t even realise how much I wanted to breastfeed her.

    I would see the health visitors and I would always bring up, I would express how sad I was that I couldn’t breastfeed her. There wasn’t any support though. I was told that she was doing great, she was thriving, she was healthly. They would tell me I did my best and thats all that mattered. But nobody cared, nobody cared about me, nobody cared how I was feeling, nobody cared that my breastfeeding goals were diminshed.

    A healthy baby – that’s all we want right? What about a healthy mum though? My brain didn’t feel very healthy.

    The support just wasn’t enough.

    I still think about what went wrong and it’s taken a long time to be able to talk about it.

    It was several months later that I came acorss the phrase breastfeeding trauma and suddenly everything made sense. Why was I still feeling so bad about feeding her? Why did I feel so devastated? When I opened up to my husband about the way I felt I could barely get the words out, and you know what, even now sometimes it can still be hard. I remember the girl who couldn’t speak out and I feel so sad for her.

    I now know that it wasn’t my fault and that I did everything within my power to feed my child. What happened to me wasn’t me failing, I was failed by a system that puts breastfeeding on a pedastal antenatally and the doesn’t or can’t support it postnatally.

    The problem is that this is common. When I first found the courage to speak out about it on Instagram my inbox and comments were filled with other mothers who felt the same, who finally felt seen for everything they had been through. Mothers who felt like they had failed their child because they weren’t able to breastfeed them when they desperately wanted to.

    These were new mums, second time mums, older mums, younger mums, mum’s whose children had grown up. Mum’s who carry the trauma of how they feed their children for their entire lives. We are doing women such a disservice by not supporting them. There are women with grown up children who still carry the guilt of the way they were unable to feed their children in the way that they so desperately wanted to.

    Fed isn’t best. Fed is the bare minimum. All of our babies need to be fed but mother’s need to be supported in how they want to feed their babies, so they don’t end up carrying that trauma for their entire lives.

    We’ve all seen the joke that “nobody knows who was breastfed by the time babies reach school. It’s not funny. I don’t find it funny, because I know, and I know the devastation I felt and still feel.

    This all came to a head when I got pregnant with my son in 2020 and I had to face the inevitable. Feeding. I found Professor Amy Browns book “Why Breastfeeding grief and trauma matters” and I will recommend it to everyone who has been through this experience too. Suddenly everything made sense and it single handedly changed my mindset. It enabled me to be ready to embark on breastfeeding again.

    And now here we are, the present day. I have been exclusively breastfeeding my son. It didn’t come easy though, the same problems cropped up and the same support just wasn’t there. If it wasn’t for my wonderful IBCLC I wouldn’t be where I am today. I emailed her desperately in the middly of the night asking for a consultation. She responded (during a much more sociable hour) and we arranged a consultation the next day and she came to my home and for 90 minutes she helped me in every which way. She supported me for weeks after. She supports me to this day. Now she cheers me on whenever I send her a photo of how far we have come. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be breastfeeding. It was the most important thing to me in the whole world and I will never forget what she did for me.

    It’s not about diminishing formula feeding, it is about respecting womens choices and honouring those when it comes to feeding their babies. It’s about honouring their goals, so whenever their feeding experience is over, however they fed their baby, that they feel happy with it and don’t have to carry that hurt for their entire lives.

    Feeding trauma hurts, it hurts so deeply and so strongly.

    Things mentioned in this episode:

    Listen to this episode on Spotify

    Why Breastfeeding grief & trauma matters – By Professor Amy Brown

    Our IBCLC Heidi @ Breastfeeding Herts

  • Motherhood

    The benefits of toy rotation + download my FREE minimal toy rotation guide

    Toy rotation, minimal toys, not having much our and available for play at any one time…it’s something that makes many people look at us a bit funny but I’m telling you straight off the bat, it’s completely changed our daughters play and the feeling and flow of our play space.

    Play is the most important thing in our children’s world and a focal point in their early years education. When we had our first child, our daughter, we very quickly found toys taking over every inch of living room space. It inspired us to look further into ways in which play and toys can work for all of us within our home. Toy rotation isn’t a new idea and certainly isn’t something that we created ourselves, but is an idea based on science and child development. All we do is take these ideas and apply it to our home and what works for us. We have been able to find out what works, what doesn’t and how we can make not only a wonderful learning and growing space for our children, but also do what we can to do to support them.

    Play is the most important thing our children do in their day. You only have to take a moment out of your day to observe them at play to realise just how important it is to them. It’s no coincidence the Maria Montessori described play as the work of the child. While we don’t subscribe to a full Montessori practice in our home (opting more for an eclectic mix in our life and home education) we are passionate about supporting play and putting at utmost importance in our children’s life.

    What is toy rotation?

    Have you ever read that offering fewer toys to our children creates a better depth of play? It means having less choice around for them and encourages them to play with what is around, rather than dealing with the overwhelm of having every toy at their disposal. This simple change encourages them to play better without having too much around, and really shows in all areas of their play, especially within their imaginative play. It enables them to be more imaginative, more creative and can even be attributed to deeper cognitive development too as studied in “The influence of the number of toys on the environment on toddlers’ play” published in the journal of Infant Behaviour and Development.

    When children have a high number of toys it inevitably creates more mess which then goes on to stifle their play and imaginations. I have seen it happen in our home before we decided to drastically the amount of toys we have around. With more toys available my daughter would either play sporadically or just bypass the option to play entirely. When we significantly reduced the number of toys available she noticably began to play more deeply and creatively. At the moment we rotate our toys monthly and we notice such an incredible difference between the beginning of our rotation cycle, when everything is fresh and new, and by the end when things are starting to get a little stale.

    Why is toy rotation important?

    Aside from the obvious science and anecdotal evidence that shows that children do indeed play more deeply with far less. We see it every day in our home in the way our daughter plays, creates, imagines, and interacts with her toys. Less is more and is a great in so many ways for her. It encourages her to be more creative with her own toys too, in the mind of a child anything can be anything they want it to be, we don’t need to provide every toy “just in case”. When toys are messy and overbearing creativity is stifled and play is so much more limited.

    Should I be aiming for minimal toys?

    We spent a great deal of time throughout 2020 and 2021 decluttering, minimising and streamlining much around our home. I wouldn’t say we live as strict minimalists but we do live a more minimal lifestyle.

    The question and observation I get the most when I talk about minimal toys or toy rotation is that people for some reason think that our children go without. I would say that the opposite is true and instead we are gifting them a childhood and a chance at play which will enrich not only the play experience itself but their early years and beyond. It really is such a great gift to be able to gift them with something so simple.

    Download my 5 easy steps to minimal toy rotation

    We’ve been doing and loving toy rotation for almost 2 years and have seen the positive impact and benefits it has provided our daughter. We have seen how her depth of play has increased, her creativity grown and her imagination limitless, and these changes are never more evident than when we refresh her toys at the beginning of a new rotation.

    I would love to share with you our simple steps to minimal toy rotation, helping you beat the overwhelm, how to divide up your toys and how to simply manage your toy rotation with ease. Pop your email in below and I’ll send you my simple guide straight to your inbox.

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    I know what you’re thinking, that you already own too much and wouldn’t know where to start, but let me share this with you – it doesn’t all need to be out and available at the same time. We have a fair few toys that we have accumulated through preloved toys, things being handed down and gifts and I know we want it all to be used.

    If you are interested in toy rotation and minimal toys I want to urge you to think of it this way: the toys will be used far more intently and more often if you offer them in smaller batches through toy rotation, and if they aren’t then maybe they aren’t the right toy for your child. What we have seen is when all the toys are available things don’t always get played with in any depth. When offered with a smaller batch of toys then they seem to be played with and used at a much deeper level.

  • Motherhood

    The radical act of being a stay at home parent

    When I had my daughter two and a half years ago I took an extended maternity leave of 15 months and I didn’t know if I had the intention of returning to work. Then the pandemic hit (incidentally at that same time I was due off of maternity leave) and I changed my mind. For the first time in a while, I wanted to do something for myself again, especially to take my mind off of the pandemic. I still had the privilege of being the parent that stayed home, did some work for myself in the evenings, and helped contribute financially in a time where things were more uncertain.

    As time went on I found that my unpaid work, the work of being home with my toddler was all-consuming and I found it difficult to carve out time to do my paid work, especially when my heart was in parenting and not in my paid work. I worked until I went onto maternity leave with my son this past spring, but it got me thinking about how being a stay-at-home parent is no longer the societal norm, in fact, it’s becoming a radical choice within our parenting.

    blue jeans
    Photo by Alexandr Podvalny on Pexels.com

    Recently, I had an appointment and as part of the introduction we went through a few things about me, so I could get the best out of the service and one of the questions I was asked was what do I do. For the first time I proudly said that my job was being a stay-at-home parent, and it’s not that I am even ashamed by it, but it is one of those things that can be taken either way and in some situations consistently looked down on by some people, that it ends up irking you every time you have to try and justify it.

    Being a parent that stays home with their children is a whole job, it’s just as valuable as being a parent that goes out to work. There is no us vs them. Some of us parent full time at home with our children 24/7 and some of us parent full time from the office (or at home) while working for ourselves or someone else. It feels like returning to work is the norm now (and if that works for you and your family then that’s all that matters) and staying home is a radical act.

    Choosing to stay home

    Before we had children, when we first got married (and discussions happened even before that) we knew the kind of life we wanted to set up for ourselves, and although things will never go to any exact plan, we had a rough idea of what we wanted our life to look like. We knew we wanted to have one child (and later decided that actually, we wanted two), that I wanted to stay home with them, that we were extremely passionate about home educating them and not putting them in any formal school or educational setting and that we wanted to set up our life to facilitate that. These things are paramount to us, and while I am acutely aware of the privilege that I am afforded in being able to do this, it’s not by accident either.

    So often in the media or maybe even on social media portrays parents who chose to stay home as parents who sit around socialising, drinking tea (or coffee). It’s viewed the lesser of the two options, it’s not celebrated and it’s rarely considered a legitimate career choice. In fact, if anything, it’s an incredibly undervalued way to spend your time.

    Living a slow, smaller, more intentional life

    We chose to purchase a home that we loved but also one that didn’t overstretch us financially. We have never factored my income into what we needed to survive. This way we have never had to worry about whether I work or not. Again, it’s a privilege I recognise. It is important to us that we prioritise this way of living over everything else. So often in our lives, we are almost conditioned to want the next bigger and better thing, a bigger house, a newer car, constantly creating a bigger and better (and more expensive life) that we end up needing two incomes to be able to achieve. This way of living is so deep-rooted, engrained and that it is expected that this the way we should live and raise our children.

    Let’s not confuse things though, we live the fullest life. We do everything we want to do, we have a home that we love, and despite common perception, we have enough space for us all (and more). We focus on the things that we love and that bring us joy, being together, raising our babies as freethinkers, being dedicated to their experiences, home education, exploring outdoors, raising up and allotment from the ground and in the not too distant future we hope to purchase our dream camper van and travel, love, learn and explore.

    Walking a different path

    Walking a different path to the societal norm and not wanting to keep up with the majority brings up so many questions for so many people. Walking your own, outside of the norm, path seems to awaken something in others that makes them think that your choices directly questuon theirs. I can’t help it if my way of parenting and living life gets other people’s backs up or makes them feel like their own choices are being attacked, it’s certainly not my intention, but I also won’t water myself down to make others feel comfortable.

    It’s about creating a life that not only looks good but feels good too.

  • Motherhood

    World Breastfeeding Week 2021: Why Breastfeeding Trauma Matters

    It’s world breastfeeding week and it’s only fair I start at the beginning, because you’d be forgiven, if you were just walking in on my story now, for thinking breastfeeding “worked” for me.⁣
    ⁣
    But for the longest time, it didn’t. As a first-time mum I was the product of a system that encouraged me to breastfeed and then set me up to fail, from the breastfeeding education I received to the lack of support postnatally. My experience left me scarred, hurt, and with feelings of inadequacy and trauma that I still feel, on some level, today. It was that lack of help, honesty, and support that meant I stopped long before I was ready and switched to formula. ⁣
    ⁣
    But my experience wasn’t unique, in fact, the more I understand feeding trauma the more I realise that I am not the minority, I’m the majority. The majority of women who, when have chosen to breastfeed, find themselves failed by a system that gives no real support in enabling them to continue. Of those who decide to breastfeed over 70% are forced to stop before they are ready leaving behind, in many cases, feelings of grief and trauma surrounding the experience.⁣
    ⁣
    The problem starts within breastfeeding education and is propelled through maternity services and into postnatal care. Instead of enabling women who want to breastfeed to do so, instead, we have a system whereby breastfeeding is held to the highest of standards antenatally but postnatally it’s given no real support, especially in cases with feeding difficulties. Without support, women are left with little option than to switch to formula. And it’s not that there is anything wrong with formula (I for one am incredibly grateful for its existence) it’s just that it’s a choice many of us were forced into before we were ready.⁣
    ⁣
    The fact that out of everyone who starts breastfeeding, over 70% stop before they are ready with many people being left with feelings of inadequacy, trauma and pain tells you everything you need to know. The problem is huge and it’s damaging.⁣

    We need to do better as a society to support and facilitate women in the way they want to feed their babies. We need an honest breastfeeding education that doesn’t just tell us how wonderful it can be but is honest about the hardships and how they can be solved, or how we can get help if needed. We need better breastfeeding help in hospital so we aren’t sent home already flailing in figuring it out. We need better postnatal help and support, to help us through those early days and beyond.

    We need to be more open and kinder too. So many people have implied that I didn’t try hard enough to succeed and my story is worth far more than being boiled down to that. There were a lot of issues that prevented my success, all solvable with the right support.


    Feeding trauma is real and for those experiencing it is deafening. Next time you speak to a new mum ask her how it’s going because she really might need a kind ear to share her feelings with. So many of us have been failed and keep it inside until it bursts out, leaving many with years and even decades of hurt and regret.


    Our society needs to do better for our new mums.

  • Motherhood

    Our Labour & Delivery story

    Hello everyone, it’s been a while! As I am sure you’re aware if you were following me here or follow me on Instagram, our little boy arrived safe and sound, a few days early, at the end of May and ever since we have been enjoying the wonderful fourth trimester. My husband was lucky enough to have a month off of work and since then I have been figuring out motherhood during our days with just me, a two-year-old and a newborn. Today I wanted to share my labour and birth story, because it was absolutely wonderful and I want a place to document it but also share that birth doesn’t have to be scary, in fact, it can be truly wonderful.

    Towards the end of this pregnancy, after suffering from pre-eclampsia at the end of my first pregnancy, I and my midwife team were becoming concerned that pre-eclampsia would once again rear its head. After working so hard throughout this pregnancy to try and keep it at bay, it became a little nerve-wracking when my blood pressure started to creep up towards the end. With my blood pressure being up and down I found myself in triage more times than I would like to count. Thankfully I had no other symptoms of pre-eclampsia and it was suspected I just had pregnancy-induced hypertension. After being heavily monitored throughout this pregnancy my consultant had put a plan in place that stated that if I had any recordings of high blood pressure after 37 weeks then she wanted an induction to be discussed. I wasn’t overly keen on having an induction, after having one the first time around, however, I am also very vocal about pre-eclampsia and its dangers, and in that instance, it wasn’t something I was going to mess around with. After spending 12 hours in triage after being referred for high blood pressure at 38+3 I was very much coming to the end of my tether. While I wasn’t keen on having an induction I was starting to worry that everyone was ignoring the consultant’s advice and I was worried they were putting me and my baby in danger. After being sent home after that 12-hour stint I contacted my community midwives who wanted to see me a few days later for a further blood pressure check.

    I headed off for what would be my last community blood pressure check at 39 weeks and with another high reading, I found myself on the way to triage again. This time was different. I had only been there about 20 minutes when the doctor came to see me, after reading my notes and decided it would be time to induce my labour due to consistently high readings and this back and forth to triage I was trapped in. Despite not choosing an induction as my first choice I knew the seriousness of pre-eclampsia (although somehow, despite all the high blood pressure readings, I managed to dodge it) and I didn’t want to sit and wait for it to potentially develop and put my baby and I at risk, so I agreed that induction was the best course of action. I was soon transferred to the ward, where my husband was finally able to join me (damn covid!)

    When I was induced with my daughter, a little over two years prior, I had a pessary and then the prostaglandin gel. This time around I was offered that as well but I was also offered a balloon catheter induction. After reading about both and doing a little research I opted for the balloon catheter. The balloon catheter sits above your cervix, putting weight on it and helping the cervix to dilate. I think these are offered in subsequent pregnancies predominantly (according to my consultant), but don’t quote me on that. When the balloon catheter was inserted they told me I was already 2 cm dilated and I was ever so hopeful that this would mean my induction process wouldn’t take too long as apparently, all we were waiting for was my cervix to move forward. That, however, was not the case and I ended up waiting to go to the labour ward to have my waters broken for around 48 hours. I always find the hardest part of induction is the waiting round and I actually think found it more difficult this time because I knew what was coming whereas with my first induction it was a had no idea. Also last time I had my husband with me 24/7, this time around, because of covid, he was only able to be there 12 hours of the day. As I said, this time I had a balloon catheter and I also had the prostaglandin gel again. However, a lot of the waiting around this time was largely due to the fact that there was a very busy labour ward and there was no space for me to go. I definitely believe in perfect timing though because when I did finally get taken down to have my waters broken everything aligned so that I was able to have my dream birth. 

    I was taken down to the consultant LED unit labour ward Wednesday lunchtime and thankfully my husband remembered everything that I wanted because everything slipped out of my mind as soon as we got down there. He mentioned to our two midwives, we had both a trained midwife and a trainee midwife, that I would like to be be able to have a bath when I was in labour. They asked if I would actually prefer the pool room because I had stated in my birth plan that I wanted to be in the pool if possible, but there is only one pool on the consultant led unit so is often very hard to get. I think that’s why the whole dream of the water birth just slipped out of my mind. As luck would have it the pool room had just finished being used and was currently being cleaned, so I was able to have my name down on it and was able to use that room. We stayed in the other room while the pool was being got ready and I had my waters broken. The midwives told me that they would give me 4 hours to get into active labour and would leave us alone during that time as much as possible. At first, nothing really seemed to feel any different and I spent some time bouncing on the birthing ball, but I found it incredibly uncomfortable. Deciding to have a snack I bounced on the ball and started to eat a bag of popcorn until I started to feel a little unwell. It was from here that I started to have some contractions and they weren’t too bad at first but they very rapidly became very quick to come, as induction contractions often do. I decided that we probably needed to get the midwives back because I definitely felt like I was in active labour or at least close to it. We called the midwives back and they immediately transferred me to the pool room which was now ready and got me ready to get into the pool. They attached a little monitoring device on baby boy’s head and said that I was 5 cm dilated and in active labour. I transferred to the pool when I was ready and was in there through one contraction and on the next contraction I feel like I needed to push already. The midwife told me that my body knew what to do, I squatted in a comfortable position and baby boy made his way earthside.

    After a long, arduous labour the first time round which ended with an epidural, labouring on my back, an episiotomy and a forceps delivery this birth was a dream. I was also able to also use some incredible Hypnobirthing techniques in both labours, but in this labour in particular I really felt like I was in the zone. In fact, I have never felt anything like it the primal feeling of delivering my baby and it was something I never thought I would get to experience. Once I realised that our baby was on his way I wouldn’t say it was painless but I don’t remember feeling pain either, my mind was just so focused on breathing with the gas and air. My breathing became very rhythmic and not at all panicked. I just felt very calm and in quite a lovely state. I was also able to really focus on the baby, where he was and what it felt like to give birth to him. I had finally achieved the Hypnobirthing Birth and water birth that I had always wanted.

    My recorded active labour time this time round was just 16 minutes and baby boy was born at 16:16. He weighed 8lb 1oz. I feel so lucky to have had this dream labour, it was everything I asked for and it was everything that I hoped it would be this time around. Even as I write this I know I am not doing justice to just how incredible, powerful and primal this experience was. It’s a state I don’t think many achieve and I feel so lucky that I did.

    It’s been on my mind for a long time, since I got pregnant this time round, that a career change was in my future. We plan to home educate our children and I plan on not returning to full-time work, however, I would love to do something career-wise that fits around the children and so I have a little something for myself. Throughout this pregnancy it’s been on my mind that I would love to train as a Hypnobirthing instructor, as well as adding in some extra things alongside this practice too. After experiencing this labour and birth this time round I am so certain that I want to help others achieve a birth they can look back on fondly. Even when I was giving birth right in that hypnosis state I felt so calm and happy and at peace and I thought to myself for a brief second that I have to pursue Hypnobirthing as an instructor. I don’t know when I’ll do it, I don’t know when I’ll train but I can’t wait to start that next chapter when the time is right.

  • Motherhood

    Second Trimester Update

    As I edge towards the end of my pregnancy I thought it might be about to time to get my second trimester update posted, before I miss it entirely, especially as I should really start making some notes so a third trimester update actually happens at some point – I may even try and do an update in the final week of my pregnancy just so it gets done before the fourth trimester and newborn bubble begins.

    The glorious trimester

    In my first pregnancy my second trimester glow was short lived, by being bogged down with SPD, heart palpitations and generally not feeling great. I am happy to report that my second trimester this time has been absolutely glorious, the trimester I never got the first time round for sure. I have in general felt good, my heart palpitations were minimal (I’ve had that treat in the third trimester this time), I wasn’t tired, I felt almost my normal pre-pregnancy self and at times ‘forgot’ I was pregnant. It was definitely the easiest and most enjoyable trimester.

    The big scan

    Of course the second trimester bought with it the big anomaly scan and I was nervous. After the on/off gastroschisis diagnosis of the first trimester I have to say it was still hanging over my head a little bit. I was nervous that it was going to show up again just as I had got my mind around everything that happened around 12-14 weeks. We did however get the all clear and it was such a relief to get through that.

    The midwife & consultant appointments started

    After the pre-eclampsia diagnosis in my previous pregnancy my midwife appointments were set to start at 24 weeks and continue every two weeks until the end of my pregnancy, along with some consultant appointments thrown in too.

    The second trimester was wonderful this time round and it was a joy, as well as often forgetting I was pregnant, that is life with a toddler for sure. After the busy time at the end of the first trimester it was definitely nice to be able to enjoy the second trimester a little more. If you want to continue to follow my second pregnancy in real time, head over to Instagram!

    Now, onto the third trimester…